DANJ! Presents: One Hitta Quittas, Vol. 1

10/28/2009

that thing you do

I don’t know what to tell y’all. That Young Menace shit really made my got-damn week. In keeping with the “Whatever Happened To…” theme, I’d like to dedicate today’s entry to four artists who have provided my iPod with a good damn 16 minutes’ worth of music. Of course, I’ve proven that I can do entries about those artists who really did their thing in the ’90s, but why not take time out for the nigga who made “Return Of The Mack”? Today, I give you… One Hitta Quittas, Vol. 1. POW, punk ass!

oochie coochie la la la

MC Brains “Oochie Coochie” (1991): Remember back when Michael Bivins put out Another Bad Creation, then Boyz II Men, then he ended up with like 73 artists signed to his Biv 10 label? One of those was the pride of Cleveland, Ohio… MC Brains. This lil’ catchy number dropped in late-’91 and had the middle school dances jumpin’ around my way. My favorite lyric was always “Lisa, Kim, Angela, Monique/ Them are some freaks with some big physiques”. The “big physiques” part still cracks me up- it sounds like he’s talkin’ about female wrestlers or some shit. Anyway, he followed up this hit with a single called “Everybody’s Talkin’ About MC Brains”… and then, well… go ‘head and finish that however you want.

DRS Gangsta Lean

DRS “Gangsta Lean (This Is For My Homies)” (1993): Ah yeah. ’93 was mo’ gangsta than a muh’fukka. From The Chronic to Menace II Society to Tupac shootin’ cops and rapin’ girls in the ass, Cali was killin’! Naturally, the suits at Capitol Records figured, “hey, it’s workin’ for the rappers- why not an R&B group?” Enter DRS, a.k.a. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and one of the best/worst songs of the year. Tell me you don’t wanna sing along and laugh at the same time when the one nigga says “tell him put down those dice for a second, Lord… listen to his HOMIEEE!” It wasn’t necessarily an awful song- but how much longevity could a group dressed as gangbangers (pause) actually have? Seriously, what was their next song gonna be about? Jackin’ niggas and doin’ drive-bys? I guess the public felt the same way, because “Gangsta Lean” was the beginning and end of DRS.

Skee-Lo

Skee-Lo “I Wish” (1995): I don’t know if an artist has ever made a hit song about physical limitations and gone on to further success. The only exception might be this shit right here, but he was already deep in his career. Skee-Lo, on the other hand, came out the gate wishing for more height. He also wished to be a baller with a good-lookin’ girl, a rabbit in a hat with a bat (?), and a ’64 Impala. The summer of ’95 was good to him, as this song landed him all over radio and MTV. Then, September arrived, and Skee was wishing to score another hit. Instead, he got a spot on the Money Train soundtrack. Fair enough.

Return Of The Mack

Mark Morrison “Return Of The Mack” (1997): As possibly the only nigro in the late-’90s still rockin’ a Gumby fade, Mark Morrison took his hit from Germany and brought it over here a year later. With a catchy-ass hook and a voice that gave hope to Akon, Mizark got it poppin’ in the spring of ’97 with “Return Of The Mack”.  After this one came and went, the mack returned to Germany and can now be seen opening for David Hasselhoff. That could be a joke, but maybe it’s not. While I’m on the subject, this is another one of those songs that I coulda confessed to liking. I denied it for a good while, especially when it was out… but I do. But I do, do, do.

As y’all well know, it doesn’t stop there- the list, much like the beat, goes on. I’ll be covering more of these in future entries, as there are a lot to choose from. In some ways, one hit wonders are special. Sure, they work at GameStop today, and they probably get their “one lil’ hit” thrown in their faces every time they get into an argument with their significant others. But for three to four months of someone’s life, they were the shit, and no bitch-ass manager or girlfriend can take that away from them.

-D!

(so… who are some your favorite One Hitta Quittas?)


It’s Hard Being The Kane

09/03/2009

bigdaddykane

The other day, while upping some of the classic joints by Biz Markie and MC Shan, I thought about how tough the Juice Crew was in their day. In the late-’80s, Cold Chillin’ Records boasted a crew that consisted of such legendary names as Biz, Shan, Kool G Rap, Masta Ace, Roxanne Shante with her lyin’ ass, legendary producer Marley Marl, and my personal favorite… Big Daddy Kane.

longlivethekane

At one time, Kane was THAT fukkin’ guy. He could do all types of songs and all kinds of topics. He had a flawless flow, berserko wordplay, crazy live performances (along with his dancers Scoob & Scrap Lover), and a GANG of swagger just to top it all off. He even had his fair share of soundalikes and knockoff versions, as most frontrunning MCs usually do during their prime. In one of hip-hop’s most competitive eras with talented MC’s poppin’ up all over, Kane was possibly THE best in the game by ’89.

Which made it all the more crazy in the early-’90s when he fell ALL THE WAY the fukk off.

Big Daddy Kane Taste Of Chocolate

See, even though BDK could destroy the shit out of a mic, he also had an R&B-ish side to him. And it was no big deal for a while- he’d been comin’ with at least one R&B-style joint since the first album, so it was part of his repertoire from day one. He did album covers with chicks and champagne bottles and the whole thing. Only problem is, once this became a successful component of his music, he started basing his entire image and sound around it. Even worse, he chose to do this as the ’90s arrived and hip-hop as a whole was heading into a harder direction.

Prince of Darkness

Whereas before, Kane’s skills were undeniable, he started putting out records that made them questionable. Those Johnny Gill lookin’-ass album covers didn’t help matters either. Even the titles of those albums were nutso- Taste of Chocolate? Prince of Darkness? Nigga, what? He still had his lyrical capabilities, but everything else from the beats to the videos were WAY lame. Homie was even gettin’ dissed at his own birthday party by Big Ill (of Ill & Al Skratch fame).

Not that Kane had to give a shit. Sure, he was making weak records, but the girls still loved him (even with an AIDS rumor following him for a second there). He got to work with legendary artists like Patti Labelle, Barry White, and Quincy Jones- which is something to be proud of, even if the actual songs were ass. And uhhh… getting paid to fingerbang Madonna while she kissed Naomi Campbell doesn’t sound like anything to be ashamed of either… I’m just sayin’. Still, his relevance falls waaaay back, as a bunch of new artists come up between ’91 and ’92.

bigdaddylookslikeajobfor

By the time ’93 rolls around, hip-hop is goin’ hard. Even groups like Quest and De La Soul toned down a lil’ bit of that happy-ass shit they were doing a couple years prior. And here comes Kane with his “coming-back-hard” album, Looks Like A Job For. The problem by this point was that he really had nowhere to go. The R&B style wasn’t cuttin’ it, and the idea of him joining in with the hardcore crowd wasn’t doin’ it either. Something about Snoop, Wu-Tang, Onyx, and other newer heads seemed way more interesting than hearing a Big Daddy Kane street record. It wasn’t his time anymore.

bigdaddyshome

Bu-bu-but wait, it gets worse. Then came Daddy’s Home in ’94, led by a single called “In The PJ’s”. It was a song about the projects, but lookin’ at that album cover, it coulda just as well been about pajamas. The prime example of how far outta-the-loop Kane was, is a joint called “Show & Prove” featuring Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Jay-Z, Sauce Money, Shyheim, and Scoob Lover on the track. Cool record, but if not for Scoob’s (turrible) verse, Kane woulda been murdered on his own shit by every single guest.  The same MC who five years earlier was arguably the best was now just lucky to be better than one of his dancers.

While Daddy’s Home was the nail in the coffin for BDK, it dropped right before hip-hop took another direction. In a twist of irony if I’ve ever heard of one, it became cool for rappers to do the same exact shit Kane lost his spot for doing. As much as his smooth playa style got him pushed aside, all of a sudden, every other East Coast rapper started smoothin’ the shit out of their singles. Whereas he caught flack for collabing with R&B artists, it started to be the in-thing. Unfortunately by the time it was poppin’, Kane was like an old pimp who lost all his hoes.

bigdaddyallofme

Meaning no disrespect to the man, Big Daddy Kane is still one of my favorite MCs ever, as he is to a lot of people who love his earlier work. In fact, he’s been able to salvage the damage that his career caught during those years. I could say he fell off ONLY because he was too R&B’d up at the time, and he got dissed for stuff that niggas can do today with no flack whatsoever (which is true). But a lot of the music just wasn’t good, and even he has to know that, because he doesn’t perform any of it today.

In the early ’90s, I don’t know how hard it was being the Kane, but I know it was hard as a muh’fukka to listen to the Kane.

Three ’90s BDK Songs That Ain’t Half-Bad:

“It’s Hard Being The Kane” (1990)

“Nuff Respect” (1992)

“How U Get A Record Deal?” (1993)

…And Three That Definitely Are:

“I’m Not Ashamed” (feat. Alyson Williams) (1991)

“Very Special” (feat. Spinderella) (1993)

“In The PJ’s” (1994)

-D!


No Sellout

07/08/2009

Hammerman

I don’t care what niggas say… MC Hammer was NOT a sellout.

There was a point in time when Hammer was known (along with Vanilla Ice) as a threat to hip-hop’s integrity. He was dissed by everyone from Ice Cube to Q-Tip. He was called everything but a black man by others who thought his music was damaging the credibility of the genre. He was clowned for his commercial endorsements and sampling popular records, even by rappers who went on to do the exact same shit later in their careers. He had extravagant, dance-oriented stage shows that were considered “wack” by artists who were more content to walk back and forth on stage for 45 minutes. And for all this, he was labeled a “sellout”.

mchammer2

Now… was I a fan of Hammer? Nah! Even as a kid, I wasn’t exactly enthralled by most of his big hits. I mighta liked a couple of his videos, but I wasn’t rockin’ with most of ‘em. I wasn’t watching Hammerman, and I thought “2 Legit 2 Quit” was awful. I also laughed my ass off when Paul Mooney joked about  that fateful KFC commercial, which is still one of the most unintentional/intentional racial innuendo advertisements ever. All that considered, I still can’t agree with the accusation that Hammer sold out- he simply got popular doing what he’d always done. It wasn’t his fault that MTV and mainstream media hopped on his dick, just like it wouldn’t have been Q-Tip’s if they hopped on his.

touchthis

If Hammer had ever professed to be some kind of supreme lyricist who made “real hip-hop”, and then he switched gears… maybe. If Hammer went out and told people “don’t listen to Ice Cube or KRS-One because that’s not what hip-hop is- I’M hip-hop”… maybe. Taking it past music, if Hammer had gotten rich and disassociated himself from the people who supported him on the way up… surely he could’ve been construed as someone who turned their back. But he never did any of that. He came in making a particular brand of music, and he continued to do that as he became more successful. Actually, there’s a lot of “real” rappers from back then that the same can’t be said about.

mchammerdoll

I was just recently having this debate on the SOHH.com message board, and my stance was that the LAST thing anyone should call Hammer is a sellout. Sure, he wasn’t hardly street-level (at least not music-wise) but it’s not ANY rapper’s dream to get a deal, make an album, and still be in the projects. Hammer gave back to the community he grew up in, and also gave jobs to his friends and many others who were otherwise struggling. He actually ended up takin’ a loss from doing that, because in his own words, all of those people turned their backs once he wasn’t “megastar MC Hammer” anymore.

hammerpumps

If anything, he sold out AFTER all the criticism. After he got dissed for his “hip-pop” music and his not-real-enough image, he decided it was a good idea to come back hard in ’94. So he put on his skullie and boots, and came back looking like he was on some type of gangsta shit. That made him MORE of a punchline because now, it was “look at Hammer tryna be hard now, nigga please!”. He couldn’t win for losing- the same people who didn’t like him before weren’t gonna switch up and start likin’ him then, no matter how many times he shouted out Tha Dogg Pound or mugged for the camera. And if that wasn’t enough, the “Pumps N A Bump” video certainly did it- nigga went from “we gotta pray to make it today” to postin’ up with Speedos on.

mc-hammer-now Today, Hammer generally gets respect from his peers. I think they realized that he wasn’t tryin’ to bastardize hip-hop as a genre, or even tryin’ to steer people away from those other artists. In fact, I’d even say his music opened a lot of people up to other rappers. I recall knowing white kids at my school who loved Hammer in ’90, but by ’92 were listening to Cypress Hill and Das EFX (who were about as far away from Hammer’s music as it got). At least a part of that came from them developing a sudden interest in rap music thru Hammer n’nem, and then tuning into the hip-hop video shows and seeing other stuff that they also found appealing.

Wack? Possibly so. Great MC? Maybe not. Sellout? Definitely not.


Portrait Of An Artist As A Hood

06/03/2009

Vanilla ice

Since I’ve already had the audacity to put that 6th grade pic up for my first post, I may as well continue the self-deprecation by admitting to something. It’s something that most self-respecting hip-hoppers wouldn’t admit although there’s a 50% chance that they did it too. Yes… there was a time between September and December 1990… that I actually liked Vanilla Ice. Don’t judge.

“Ice Ice Baby”, for all intents and purposes, wasn’t that bad of a song. I can think of many songs that were worse, some of which I’ll be talking about in the future. It’s clearly his biggest record ever, and maybe that’s why it gets all the hatred that it does- it’s the thing most commonly connected to the overall fuckery that was/is Vanilla Ice. However, for anyone unfortunate enough to hear some of his OTHER output, that’s nothing. “Ice Ice…” sounds like fukkin’ “Straight Outta Compton” when compared to a few of his other disasterpieces. Stop, collaborate, and listen…

vanilla ice love you

Take for instance, “I Love You” (click to hear). Here, the Iceman melts with desire and shows us the real Rob Van Winkle. Channeling his inner LL, he salutes his girl’s “devastating body and sweet profile”, then invites her to wine and dine with him. He goes on to promise that he’d buy her everything… “yes, girl- even diamond rings!” After the verses and a sax solo, Rob gets on the phone and lets us all hear him confess to his woman that he looooves her. CLEARLY, if there’s somethin’ besides “Ice Ice Baby” to joke on, this fake-ass “I Need Love” could be a top candidate. It’s worth noting, though, that while Vanilla half-assed it, whoever played the sax on this shit WENT HARD.

vanillaiceninja

Ice sold a gang of records with his To the Extreme album, and as a result, he was a superstar. He got to make a movie, had his own action figure, and even got to hit off Madonna. But better than all that, he got a cameo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. In “Ninja Rap”, he hits us with burning questions like “have you ever seen a turtle get down?” He also breaks new ground in lyricism by being the first and only MC to rhyme “turtle” with “level”. Then there’s the hook: “Ninja, Ninja- RAP!” coupled with a classic refrain: “Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!” How does this song (that was actually a hit) fly under the radar of all things wack about Vanilla Ice? Hmmm… maybe that’s the Secret of the Ooze.

vanilla-ice-mind-blowin-200

After being exposed as a fraud and becoming the ass of a million jokes, Ice felt the backlash. He practically disappeared after ’91 and wasn’t seen again until early-’94. There was half a chance that he’d taken nearly three years off to get focused and silence his critics with his follow-up album, Mind Blowin’. BUT- being Vanilla Ice, he managed to become MORE of a joke. Much like his pop-rap counterpart MC Hammer, Vanilla opted to come back “hard” for ’94, complete with blonde dreads and hockey jerseys. His single “The Wrath” saw him threatening to either start slittin’ rappers’ throats or using his Magnum on ‘em (pause). He even utilized gunshot sound effects and mentioned how he carries his “striz-ap to bust a ciz-ap”. The response to this newer, harder Ice was a resounding  “nigga, please.”

But fuck all that: in the long run, Vanilla has nothin’ to be ashamed of. Sure, he became the personification of what it was to be wack in the ‘90s. Sure, he is now forced to perform a song he hates, just to keep his lights on. OK, maybe he did get his ass beat by Todd Bridges on Celebrity Boxing. And of course, there’s that time Suge may or may not have hung him upside down off the hotel balcony. Still, even Rob would have to admit- those six months of relevance between ’90 and ’91 were PROB’LY a lot of fun. Word To Ya Mutha.

vanillanow

-D!


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