I’m a lil’ late on this, but shoutout to T.I. and Tameka “Tiny” Cottle for givin’ each other their slave papers last weekend. I’ve found it somewhat of a culture shock that today’s generation knows shit about Tiny, except that she’s Tip’s old wife who has that show on BET. But I guess that beats bein’ called one of “them ugly-ass XScape bitches“.
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20 summers ago, there was a new show on TV that I was 10 years old and rollin’ about every Sunday night. While FOX was already catching heat for the content on Married With Children (which only added to its popularity), they apparently felt they could stand it enough to put another wild-ass show on. So they premiered a new sketch comedy show with an ensemble cast, called In Living Color.
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“Where else can you see three White women fight over a nigga with one tooth?”- Paul Mooney
Back in ’97 after I graduated high school, there were few things I enjoyed more while wasting my afternoons than watchin’ The Jerry Springer Show. Back when pop culture as a whole was reveling in crude humor, sex, and violence more than ever, Jerry and his crazy-ass guests brought it every afternoon at 3 p.m. If you wanted to watch two lesbians tongue each other down while their boyfriends slugged it out, this was the show to watch.
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Aiiiight, so… way back on September 29 of last year, I did my very own version of Hip-Hop Confessions. I owned up to some things, some of you did some owning up as well, and fun was had by all. Today, I offer a sequel of sorts: R&B Confessions. Read on as I drop some of my ’90s-related, personal, unconventional, unpopular, idiosyncratic opinions as they relate to my second favorite genre. Checkitout…
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I know exactly what you’re thinkin’ right now.
“Who’s this, Drake‘s little brother? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of whoever this is.”
Oh… you’ve heard of him. Don’t think so?
How ’bout now?
That’s right, good people: if you’ve ever wondered what the lil’ kid who played as Anthony in Menace II Society is up to these days, here you have it. His name was Julian Roy Doster, but now, his name is Menace (clever, eh?) and guess what… he’s an aspiring rapper. Sigh.
Unfortunately, he only has one song on his MySpace page. On top of that, it sounds like a mix of J-Kwon‘s “Tipsy” and the Ying Yang Twins‘ “Whisper Song” (but that’s to be expected- they were movin’ to Atlanta, right?). I think what the young Menace needs is a lil’ artistic direction. He’s halfway there with the name, so he might as well go all the way in and take on the entire character. Excuse me as I do a lil’ armchair A&R for this kid’s album- a concept album, if you will…
“Guess Who’s Back?”: The re-introduction to lil’ Anthony, now 22 years old and takin’ the harsh realities from the street to the studio, with his aggressive content.
“Big Wheels”: It’s been a long time since his brand-new Big Wheel got shot the fukk up right along with Caine and Sharif. Nowadays, Young Menace is pushin’ some serious whippage… why not make a track about it?
“I’ll Whoop Your Ass!”: He ain’t a kid anymore, so he can say it all he wants now.
“Mama”: The tear-jerker of the album, dedicated to Ronnie‘s fine ass. Anthony shows love to the woman who read books to him, threatened to break his tail if she ever caught him with a gun, and gave him juice instead of beer when he was thirsty. Speaking of which…
“I’m Thirsty, Can I Have Some Beer?”: The ULTIMATE bottle-poppin’ anthem for 2010. Everybody’s talkin’ about how they got the Patron and the Jose and all that bullshit… but Anthony can change the game all over again by bringing back the 40 oz.
“Pow, Punk Ass!” (feat. MC Eiht): Here, Anthony could brag about the time Caine showed him how to shoot when he was 5. Now all grown up, he’s in these streets big wheelin’ and cap-peelin’. Eiht (a.k.a. A-Wax) intros the track with the eternally classic ad-lib, “wake yo’ punk ass up!”
“Fatherless Child”: Tear-jerker #2, as Anthony reminisces on growing up without someone to show him the way. First, Pernell got life, then Caine got death. Could be the “Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone” for the new generation.
“Ileana’s Cousin”: The album comes to a climactic end, as Menace exacts revenge on the man who killed his father figure. What’s up now, pot’na?!
BOOM. Add in a couple filler songs, use one of those pictures from the movie as the album cover on some Illmatic-type shit, and there it is. Now I’m off to find Ross Bagley a.k.a. Little Nicky from The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air. Have I got an idea for him: a Will Smith dis track called “I HATE YOU WILL!”.
-D! (shoutout to the homiechick Jia)
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Shoutout to Skillz for creating one of the most entertaining things I’ve seen lately, Hip-Hop Confessions. It began as a website which has since made its way to MTVJams as a half-hour special. On this show, everyone from fans to artists are able to shoot the shit about their likes/dislikes/unpopular opinions/etc. regarding hip-hop (the wildest being Joe Budden‘s admission to never having owned a KRS-One album). Everybody has a few, and since I’m no rookie at lettin’ out some of my own crazy-ass admissions, here’s a few more to wrap your head around:
1. Jay-Z’s Speed-Raps? Nnnnah: For all the great things he’s done, I think the best decision Mr. Carter’s ever made was getting off that “jiggedy-jiggedy-Jay”-type shit. If that didn’t happen, there’s a lot that would be missing from these last 14 years of music and pop culture- including him. Outside of one or two songs, I can really do without the whole early-mid ’90s speed-rappin’ Jigga. Incidentally, I do like “Nigga What, Nigga Who” from the Hard Knock Life album- he’s practically doin’ the same thing, but the execution is MUCH better than that money-machine-sound-effect shit he was on before.
Jay-Z “I Can’t Get Wit Dat” (1995)
2. I’ve Never Heard A UGK Album: I understand why they’re highly regarded. I understand Pimp C‘s acclaim as a producer, and that Bun B is one of the most respected lyricists from the South. Still, I’d be lyin’ if I said they were ever on my radar like that. Though I’ve known of UGK since “Pocket Full Of Stones” from the Menace II Society soundtrack, there was always a gang of other stuff I was more interested in hearing whenever they had an album out. Maybe I should make it a point to check out one of those albums someday. In the meantime though, as it stands on September 29, 2009… I’ve not heard one in its entirety.
3. Common Sense > Common: It’s almost a cliche to like the introspective, mature, kinder, gentler, hemp sweater-wearing Common who loves all the children and deaf chicks. Me myself personally? Eh. I’m much more a fan of the brash, comical Common Sense who made songs about cockblockers and such. I even rock with the Common Sense that teetered between the comical and the introspective on Resurrection. But it all pretty much ended for me when he got into cuttin’ up pieces of mango and shit. I’m not sayin’ artists can’t evolve as musicians and human beings. I’m just sayin’ Erykah Badu might be some kinda witch who turns rappers into hippies.
Common Sense “Soul By The Pound (Remix)” (1993)
4. If I Never Hear “Hip-Hop Hooray” In My Life Again, I’m Good: There’s a lot of songs I’ve heard over and over that I still don’t get tired of. I may not listen to ‘em every day, but I don’t mind hearin’ them whenever they might happen to pop up on the iPod. There’s this one song though… this one song that I could live to be 100 and die the next day without hearin’ anymore: fukkin’ “Hip-Hop Hooray” by Naughty By Nature. It’s not that I think it’s a bad song, even tho’ the hook is kinda hokey- it’s just that I’ve heard the shit so much. I’ve literally been sick of it since like ’93, and I don’t see that changing.
Naughty By Nature “Hip-Hop Hooray” (1993)
5. I Actually Like “Pumps & A Bump”: Um, yeah. That “Pumps & A Bump”. The Hammer song from when he tried to come back on some tough shit. The song that’s supposed to be about scantily-clad women, but is mostly remembered for him dancin’ around the pool with his dick aaallll in the videooo. I don’t care for any of that business, but I like that beat, and that part at the end when Aaron Hall starts goin’ in. Of course this song is awful, and I know this- but the sheer retardation of it is what makes it entertaining to me. Now bring them pumps and flex that bump.
Hammer “Pumps & A Bump” (1994)
There’s many more where those came from, and I might throw ‘em out there at another time, but I feel I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day. Now, it’s time for y’all to come clean: what are some of your confessions? I won’t tell nobody…
-D!
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Not sure if I’ve conveyed this enough, but with a few exceptions, I’m usually not partial to singers who try to rap (because they absolutely suck most of the time). But sometimes, hearing rappers try to sing can be entertaining if nothing else. There were some moments prior to the ’90s where some rappers would throw in little vocalizations here and there, like Erick Sermon getting on some Luther shit (insert joke here), and Big Daddy Kane singing his own hooks. But in the ’90s, a few niggas really got comfortable with their R&B sides and went full with it. Cases in point, the seven gems featured here. Check ‘em out:
N.W.A. “Automobile” and “I’d Rather Fuck You” (1991): The late Eric “Eazy-E” Wright, hopeless romantic that he was, drops two joints for the ladies as part of N.W.A.’s classic Niggaz4Life album. The first one lets them know that they can roll the fukk out if they don’t wanna give up the ass, while the latter is a Bootsy Collins cover dedicated to that special one who is givin’ up the ass. I don’t know about anybody else, but I coulda listened to a whole album of that shit.
The Notorious B.I.G. “Playa Hater” (1997): This is a robbery, nigga. Biggie’s sense of humor was always evident in some of his punchlines and skits, and of course it’s been noted by the people who knew him. Here, Big (with Puff adlibbing of course) covers The Dramatics’ “Hey Love” and turns it into a song about robbin’ dudes. A soulful adaptation of “Gimme The Loot”, if you will.
Ol’ Dirty Bastard “Sweet Sugar Pie” (1995): This nigga Russell Jones was legitimately out to lunch, and this was one of his craziest amongst all the crazy-ass songs he made. Here, Dirty sings to his “sweet sugar pie”, before shouting out his favorite old school musicians, then reminding us that he was the baddest hip-hop man across the world. “Oh, Millie Jackson!”
Biz Markie “Let Me Turn You On” (1993): This wasn’t much of a stretch by the time it came out, because Biz had done his fair share of singing already. But he’d never done a full-length song before, so he went the extra mile with “Let Me Turn You On”. He jacks McFadden & Whitehead’s “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now” instrumental and goes for it.
Nice & Smooth “Cake And Eat It Too” (1991): Before hooking up with Greg Nice, Smooth B sang backup on Bobby Brown‘s first solo album King of Stage, wrote Bobby’s raps, and even appeared in one of his videos (around the 1:47 mark). As part of Nice & Smooth, he always threw his singing skills in here and there, before going all out with this one. On “Cake…”, Greg comes thru with the rap verse, while B lays down the law to his cheating girlfriend.
Mase “Jealous Guys” (1997): With Puff (once again) and 112 on the assist, Reverend Betha puts it down for the fellas who handcuff their hoes in fear of his girl-pulling abilities. Not only notable for Mase’s (lack of) vocal talents, it’s also the first time Mr. Combs would violate New Edition. He later went on to violate them in a whole ‘nother way, but that’s neither here nor there. This shit STILL makes me laugh today like I haven’t heard it 1,001 times already.
Of course, we eventually got to the point where dudes like Ja and Nelly sang their hearts out for the 106 & Park crowd, and Kanye was even afforded the opportunity to take a break from rap and do a full album of robotic singing. In one case, there was even an artist who was just as talented on the R&B side as she was on the hip-hop side. This trend has its ups and downs, but it’s been an entertaining novelty for the most part. And not for nothin’, that Eric Wright album woulda been fire.
-D!
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So… I’m the only one who used to listen to the slow jam show at night? Nah, y’all listened to it too. Truthfully, I spent a good part of my teenage years being more interested in “GTD-ing” than bein’ in love and all that ol’ bullshit. But of course, there’d be those times where so-called “love” would take over and I’d be in my tight-ass room with the radio on at 10 p.m., checkin’ out the Love Zone.
All of these songs that I usually wouldn’t listen to would suddenly make all kinds of sense. I’d be sittin’ there really feelin’ these niggas’ plights, even though you couldn’t have forced me to listen to three hours of slow joints the week before. It was especially serious when it’d be a song that spoke specifically to the situation that was goin’ on. I’d be noddin’ along with the song and agreeing, on some “yeah, why she can’t see that?” shit.
But you KNEW it was serious when you’d call and do an on-air dedication. I’ll admit, I did a couple before. When you think about it, there’s always a song for just about any situation. Allow me… and as usual, if you want ‘em, click ‘em:
For That Time You Were Just Tryin’ To Impress Her… TROOP “All I Do Is Think Of You” (1990): You prob’ly had other shit on your mind, but she didn’t know that. It was very ego-catering to believe she was all you thought of, so you really couldn’t lose with this one. If you really did happen to look forward to seein’ her in school everyday (hopefully in a non-stalker way), this helped get that across. Also, yet another reason why The ’90s Loved Michael Jackson.
For That Time You Just Wanted To “GTD” Her… H-Town “Knockin’ Da Boots” (1993): Or “KDB”, either/or. This was that undeniable one right here: it was smooth enough to be a slow joint, but still ig’nant enough to say “I’m tryna take that”. I learned in time that blatant is just the way to go sometimes. I took a hot minute to realize this, but better late than never I guess.
For That Friend You Liked Who Was Bein’ Mistreated By The Dude She Was With… Shai “Comforter” (1993): Not that you were preyin’ on her vulnerability, but you really liked this got-damn girl. This could only go one of two ways. She was either gonna end up fallin’ for you the more she confided in you (possible), or she was gonna completely miss the hint and continue to be with the dude she cried to you about (likely). And on the off-chance that she did get with you, she wasn’t gonna take half the shit from you that she accepted from him. But hey… it’s a good song.
For That Time You Actually Had A Chance Of Pullin’ Someone Who Was Taken… Joe “All The Things Your Man Won’t Do” (1996): Realistically, you weren’t gonna do anything that much different from her man, but it sounded like some true stuff to say. And with Joe, these “tryna pull another dude’s girl” songs don’t just stop here. I’ll never forget the “I Wanna Know” video- the girl was havin’ an argument with her man, and this nigga Joe couldn’t even wait ’til it was over before he was already headin’ towards her, talkin’ bout “ya man givin’ you trouble?” But uh, yeah!
For The Time When It Was Over And You Were Sad As Shit… Aaron Hall “I Miss You” (1994): We’re all adults here, right? It’s OK to admit it. You put on a front in public, you told ya mans n’nem that you weren’t sweatin’ it cause you don’t luh dem hoes, you mighta even told her you weren’t gonna miss her ass. But when you got home and her number wasn’t poppin’ up on that Caller ID anymore, you heard this song and shit got REAL.
And there’s definitely more. I’m not done with these, as I’ll surely be adding on to this topic at least a few more times in the future. I used to think love songs were all the same, but as I’ve gotten older, I realize that it’s a lot more complex than it gets credit for sometimes. In the meantime, stay tuned… and feel free to add your own here.
-D!
6 Comments | DanjLovesTheR&B, GTD, HA!, Love Movement | Tagged: 1990, 1993, 1994, 1996, AARON HALL, GTD, H-TOWN, JOE, LOVE ZONE, SHAI, TROOP | Permalink
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Shoutout to all the kids who started summer vacation this week. I’m sure they don’t follow this site, since they were barely alive when most of this shit was out, but shout to ‘em anyway. In honor of the lil’ homies, today’s entry is dedicated to the pre-Bow Wow youngheads of hip-hop and R&B. Enjoy… or not.
Another Bad Creation: When I was like 10, I thought these lil’ dudes were the hardest new group out. Not sure about all that today, but it was cool as all hell to see a group not much older than myself rocking on this level. Michael Bivins of New Edition and BBD fame put this situation together, and they did their thing with that first album. But, like most child stars in music and TV, once those voices started cracking, it was a wrap for ABC. That “Iesha” chorus still followed me thru life, because that’s all I heard four years later, once I got with a girl of the same name. Kids…
Kris Kross: I’m old enough to admit it: in ’92, Kris Kross kinda sorta partially influenced me to start rhyming. After seeing them do it, I realized that I was the same age and could start rappin’ myself, so that’s how it happened. These two were huge that year, but they also ended up becoming victims of the vocal shift. Also, they were under Jermaine Dupri, who may be the king of playing “follow the leader” with whoever’s hot that year, so they were never really able to establish their own sound (which might’ve helped them stay around longer). Regardless, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t rockin’ with them for a hot second.
Illegal: The crazy thing with Illegal was that they were the only “kid” rap group to come out cussing and rhyming about shootin’ niggas and smokin’ blunts. It was kinda crazy at the time, because it was the total opposite of what people were used to from rappers that young. They were like the anti-Kris Kross, and they even went as far as dissin’ them (and other artists their age) in their songs to prove that point. Shit didn’t jump off like they probably thought it would, but their album The Untold Truth wasn’t half-bad to me.
Da Youngsta’s: These three were a little like Kris Kross, because their sound/style always seemed to depend on whatever was going on that exact minute. That said, they had a nice string of singles, and worked with damn near every East Coast producer of relevance during that time (from Marley Marl to Pete Rock to Premier). They had authentic roots as well, with two of them being the sons of Philly’s Lawrence “L.G.” Goodman, who put out a lot of classic hip-hop records under his Pop Art label in the ’80s. They never had a super-huge hit, but I might say they’re the only “kid rappers” whose music actually improved as they got older.
Immature: Aight, I’m not even gonna front: I didn’t follow these kids AT ALL. And they may have been getting Raz-B‘d by their manager, Chris Stokes. Anyway, they did manage to sneak in one or two joints that I didn’t change the channel on. The rest of the time, they were definitely moreso for the girls, who happened to love these lil’ corny niggas. I can’t knock it, since they probably weren’t aimin’ for the dudes anyway, so it was what it was. By the way, shoutout to Tia (not Mowry), if you’re readin’ this. We Got It!
Chi-Ali: “The girls look soooo good, but their brains are not ready, I don’t knooow!” When I saw the video for his first single “Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A #”, I was feelin’ it so much, I bought the whole damn album the following weekend. Chi was a member of the Native Tongues (which consisted of A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, and others), and also one of the first artists to be produced by The Beatnuts. Between ’92 and 2000, who knows what the hell happened, but the next time I saw him, it was on America’s Most Wanted. He was on the run and accused of murder. He eventually turned himself in and is still locked up today. Wasted talent, Calogero.
A lot of these acts weren’t around for the long haul, but they did more before they could drive than some artists do by the time they’re 30. Did you have a favorite from this era? Better yet, who has whereabouts on some of ‘em? Either way, speak on it!
Oh, and yeah:
Another Bad Creation “Iesha” (1990)
Kris Kross “Warm It Up” (1992)
Illegal feat. Erick Sermon “We Getz Buzy” (1993)
Da Youngsta’s feat. Treach “Crewz Pop” (1993)
Chi-Ali “Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A #” (1992)
-D!
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