DanjLovesThe90s!

I don’t know what to tell y’all. That Young Menace shit really made my got-damn week. In keeping with the “Whatever Happened To…” theme, I’d like to dedicate today’s entry to four artists who have provided my iPod with a good damn 16 minutes’ worth of music. Of course, I’ve proven that I can do entries about those artists who really did their thing in the ’90s, but why not take time out for the nigga who made “Return Of The Mack”? Today, I give you… One Hitta Quittas, Vol. 1. POW, punk ass!

MC Brains “Oochie Coochie” (1991): Remember back when Michael Bivins put out Another Bad Creation, then Boyz II Men, then he ended up with like 73 artists signed to his Biv 10 label? One of those was the pride of Cleveland, Ohio… MC Brains. This lil’ catchy number dropped in late-’91 and had the middle school dances jumpin’ around my way. My favorite lyric was always “Lisa, Kim, Angela, Monique/ Them are some freaks with some big physiques”. The “big physiques” part still cracks me up- it sounds like he’s talkin’ about female wrestlers or some shit. Anyway, he followed up this hit with a single called “Everybody’s Talkin’ About MC Brains”… and then, well… go ‘head and finish that however you want.

DRS “Gangsta Lean (This Is For My Homies)” (1993): Ah yeah. ’93 was mo’ gangsta than a muh’fukka. From The Chronic to Menace II Society to Tupac shootin’ cops and rapin’ girls in the ass, Cali was killin’! Naturally, the suits at Capitol Records figured, “hey, it’s workin’ for the rappers- why not an R&B group?” Enter DRS, a.k.a. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and one of the best/worst songs of the year. Tell me you don’t wanna sing along and laugh at the same time when the one nigga says “tell him put down those dice for a second, Lord… listen to his HOMIEEE!” It wasn’t necessarily an awful song- but how much longevity could a group dressed as gangbangers (pause) actually have? Seriously, what was their next song gonna be about? Jackin’ niggas and doin’ drive-bys? I guess the public felt the same way, because “Gangsta Lean” was the beginning and end of DRS.

Skee-Lo “I Wish” (1995): I don’t know if an artist has ever made a hit song about physical limitations and gone on to further success. The only exception might be this shit right here, but he was already deep in his career. Skee-Lo, on the other hand, came out the gate wishing for more height. He also wished to be a baller with a good-lookin’ girl, a rabbit in a hat with a bat (?), and a ’64 Impala. The summer of ’95 was good to him, as this song landed him all over radio and MTV. Then, September arrived, and Skee was wishing to score another hit. Instead, he got a spot on the Money Train soundtrack. Fair enough.

Mark Morrison “Return Of The Mack” (1997): As possibly the only nigro in the late-’90s still rockin’ a Gumby fade, Mark Morrison took his hit from Germany and brought it over here a year later. With a catchy-ass hook and a voice that gave hope to Akon, Mizark got it poppin’ in the spring of ’97 with “Return Of The Mack”.  After this one came and went, the mack returned to Germany and can now be seen opening for David Hasselhoff. That could be a joke, but maybe it’s not. While I’m on the subject, this is another one of those songs that I coulda confessed to liking. I denied it for a good while, especially when it was out… but I do. But I do, do, do.

As y’all well know, it doesn’t stop there- the list, much like the beat, goes on. I’ll be covering more of these in future entries, as there are a lot to choose from. In some ways, one hit wonders are special. Sure, they work at GameStop today, and they probably get their “one lil’ hit” thrown in their faces every time they get into an argument with their significant others. But for three to four months of someone’s life, they were the shit, and no bitch-ass manager or girlfriend can take that away from them.

-D!

(so… who are some your favorite One Hitta Quittas?)